Retirement Planning for the Psyche

Many times throughout the years, I have observed anecdotally that people have a higher risk of mortality shortly after retirement. And there’s even some empirical evidence of this. For example, in a study of past employees of Shell Oil, the mortality rate was significantly higher for subjects in the first 10 years after retirement at age 55 compared with those who didn’t retire until later (http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC1273451/). Of course, it’s possible that these statistics might be somewhat skewed by the fact that people with preexisting health issues may tend to retire earlier. Nevertheless, I have seen several people in my clinical practice “crash” psychologically after retirement; and the reasons are clear.

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3 Lists You Can Make to Boost Your Self-Confidence

No one is perfect.  And we all have numerous characteristics that comprise our personalities and abilities.  But for some, that nagging voice in your head that points out your flaws might be drowning out your ability to truly reflect on and appreciate all you have to offer.  The first step toward building a permanently positive self-image is first to recognize, then conquer your self- defeating beliefs.

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The Parental Balancing Act

I recently read an editorial in Philadelphia Magazine about parents demanding too little from their children.  The author opined “we have caved in to the foolish idea that being a good parent means being nice to our children, and making their youths as pleasant and free of stress as possible.  We want them to win at everything, from dodge ball…to grades, no matter if they’re lousy on the playground or lazy in the classroom.”  I agree with the sentiment that modern parents are often too concerned with protecting their children from the sometimes-unpleasant realities of life; and in 38 years of practice, have seen the consequences of these good intentions play out in every conceivable way.  As children grow up and go out on their own; bosses, coworkers, spouses (to an extent) and others they will have contact with may no longer put your child’s happiness and self-esteem high on their agenda. And happy or not, this is a huge wakeup call for which many children are not yet ready.

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Feel Great About Your Body On Your Big Day

From the day of your engagement until your walk down the aisle there’s a lot to celebrate as you plan your wedding. There may be an engagement party, bridal shower, or bachelorette party. Maybe you make an event out of buying the perfect dress or choosing the perfect outfit for your engagement photos. While these occasions are meant to be full of joy, they can also cause feelings of dread if you are a body-conscious bride. When the spotlight is on you, it’s easy to let what would normally be minor body insecurities become intensified during all of the wedding events. If your impending nuptials are what you need to jump-start a diet or revamp your exercise routine, it’s a great time to get back on track. But if the stress of wanting look and feel your best on your wedding day begins to consume your thoughts, it could put an unwanted damper on the joy of this special time in your life.

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3 Myth’s To Help You Address Your Adult Child’s “Failure to Launch”

When it comes to adult children who have “failed to launch”– either returned home after being away to college, an attempt to leave the nest to live on their own or who have never moved out to begin with—there is generally a variation of one or both of these two scenarios: For some of these young adults, the current economic climate has prevented them from getting jobs and having the financial security to move out on their own.  Some may choose to go back to school, and/or do a reevaluation of their long-term career goals. In this case, they are in a transition period, to hopefully figure out what to do with their life given the reality they face. They are simply using their “safety net” because they are not yet ready to support themselves (they might even be accruing debt) and the safety net is there.

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3 Steps Toward Making Your Dream a Reality

Do you have many dreams you’d like to make come true? If there’s so much you want to do but in reality, so little time to do it, the feeling of overwhelm itself can actually hold you back from accomplishing any of your major goals. If this increasingly prevalent state of mind speaks to you, here’s a simple strategy to help you see results materialize in the shortest time possible!

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Stop Anxiety in its Tracks

Believe it or not, fear can be a good thing. If our ancestors didn’t feel fear and react to it properly, they wouldn’t have protected themselves when they saw a dangerous predator coming after them, and we would not have survived. Thus, the survival mechanism of fear has thankfully survived, or the human species would not have. In our modern society, we rarely— but sometimes— need our fear responses to save our lives, such as when a dangerous person meaning harm is stalking us. Nevertheless, when this happens, we can fortunately use the fear response to fight or flee.

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Is an Affair the Disease or Just a Symptom?

I’ve rarely had as much reaction to any of my blogs or articles as there was to an article I posted here last week: Can an Affair Make Your Relationship Stronger? While affairs certainly don’t always have a positive result, the point of the article was to offer another option and help couples heal from a crisis that often prematurely ends marriages and love relationships.

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How Many Frogs Must You Kiss to Find Your Prince (or Princess) Charming?

Have you been on what feels like hundreds of dates, but found no one who fits the bill? While this might at times feel discouraging, the truth is if you were willing to accept almost anyone, you probably could have a relationship tomorrow.  Think about it-if the only thing you chose about a person was their gender, how long would it take to find your next relationship?  You could probably be in some kind of a “relationship” this time tomorrow.  But thankfully, this isn’t the case for most people.  While we all have certain criteria we want in a partner, mindfully fine tuning just what this is, can be the key to finding what you want and feeling empowered until you do!

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