If you are dating or new to the singles scene and thinking about dating, let me ask you this: What are your goals? Are you looking for a life partner? Companionship? A fun sexual relationship? Close your eyes and take a moment to focus on this. When an answer comes to you, read on
Wouldn’t it be nice if you could always approach big decisions head on, and feel little or no regret, regardless of the outcome? As Yogi Berra famously said; “when you approach a fork in the road, take it”. But seriously, why are decisions often such a source of conflict? Usually, there are three options: making the safe choice, maintaining the status quo, or taking a risk. Any decision would be a no-brainer— if it didn’t involve some risk or uncertainty— since certainty of outcome is one of the biggest myths we harbor. So while big decisions can be daunting, there are pitfalls to avoid as well as ways to make a decision you probably will regret. Think about a current situation in your life in which you’re contemplating a big decision. Here is how to avoid second-guessing or regrets to feel best about your decision as well as to master the decision making process itself:
We, as humans, are creatures of habit. But while patterns and rituals are typically helpful in maximizing brain space, certain patterns in our relationships don’t usually serve us. For example, finding yourself in the “same relationship” over and over again can feel like déjà vu– and not in a good way. If you find yourself saying “hmm, I’ve been here before.” and feel caught in the same issues with one relationship after another, maybe it’s time to take a look at your particular relationship MO in order to break the pattern once an for all, so that you can find the person you’re really looking for and then make that relationship thrive.
At this time of year, the media couldn’t be busier reminding you to enhance your relationship, celebrate your romantic life and establish more intimacy as a tribute to Valentine’s Day. There are endless deals for romantic dinners and getaways, ads for Hallmark, flowers and heart-shaped boxes of chocolate. But what if you’re not in a involved with anyone special right now? In my practice, I’ve seen many people over the years who feel badly about themselves and their lives, only because they’re not currently in a relationship. And somehow when Valentine’s Day comes around, it accentuates those negative feelings. But holidays or other yearly milestones don’t need to be triggers of gloom. Instead, honor your single status by acknowledging it in a positive light.
Business leaders and manager at all levels usually agree on one thing: It’s a constant challenge to keep others in the work environment motivated and productive. This is especially true given the reality that what drives one person, can be quite different than what drives another. Thus, to be effective in creating a maximally productive work environment, it’s crucial to understand on an individual basis exactly what motivates each unique person you are trying to influence. So with this in mind, here are several different examples or prototypes of people you might find in the workplace and what’s most likely to inspire optimal productivity in each. Believe it or not, these characteristics even correspond with the stages of development as humans by which each individual views his or her career. By understanding what drives each unique member of your team, you can effectively tailor the approach you use to get the most out of each person you’d like to motivate.
When you dreamt about your wedding as a child—and maybe even later on— you probably envisioned a beautiful white dress, wedding bells ringing and smiles all around while the bouquet is being tossed. You probably didn’t picture the possibility of the stress of planning the wedding itself reaching the point where much of the joy surrounding that special day disappears and actually becomes a burden on your relationship! While wedding planning can be an exciting time for you and your family, sometimes it’s easy to lose sight of why you’re planning it in the first place. If you’re in the midst of planning your wedding, take a few minutes to remember it’s just a party and the main event happens after the honeymoon literally and perhaps figuratively ends. Don’t fall for some of the classic wedding mistakes many couples make that can wreak havoc on your relationship:
If only you were less stressed, had more free time, felt better in general or with respect to a certain life area—what changes would now you make in your life? In my practice as a psychologist, I frequently hear people talking about waiting until they feel better, for example, to do something they’ve been wanting to; such as beginning the process of a career change or dealing with a glaring relationship issue. What do you tell yourself you’d do or change if only some ongoing state in your life were different? Perhaps you’d start dating or redo your resume, but believe that now isn’t the right time because you’re feeling down. Maybe in your case, you’d try a new hobby or take on a home project, but instead you postpone it because you’ve been feeling too anxious or overwhelmed. If any of these things resonate, ask yourself this simple question: “If not now, when?”
It’s now been a few weeks since you set your goals for yourself for the upcoming year. Maybe you wanted to get in shape or eat healthier. Maybe you intended to manage some aspect of your finances better or start the process (resumes, networking, etc.) toward your next career move. If you’ve already found that your motivation to stick to those goals is waning, sure you can wait until late December and try the resolution route again for 2014. But seriously, wouldn’t it be better to get focused now and ask yourself what do I really want to accomplish this year?
Do you find that at times your emotions get the best of you? What do you usually do when you feel that you’re on the brink of a “meltdown”? Maybe you turn to someone else to console you or maybe you self medicate with drugs, alcohol or something less obvious like overwork. Perhaps at some point, these things no longer do the job and you’re unable to stay on your game because you’re too overwhelmed by emotions. If this is the case, maybe it’s time to learn how to bring the emotions themselves under your own control.
According to Forbes, in 2012 only 50% of adults reported being satisfied with their jobs. Job dissatisfaction can greatly increase levels of anxiety, depression and stress. If this speaks to you, there are a variety of reasons why you may be dissatisfied with your job— ranging from disappointment with salary to feeling unchallenged in your work environment. In a difficult economic climate, it can be frightening or overwhelming to think about making a change. However, the good news is that finding the job you love, or loving the job you have may be within reach, because the main resources you need to achieve happiness in your career —or any other part of your life for that matter—reside within you.