Do you find that setting standards too high by trying to do things too perfectly is a source of stress for you? While doing your best is certainly a virtue, perfectionism— that is settling for nothing less than perfect— has a major down side. The problem is that many people mistake perfectionism for working their hardest, or trying to do their best. But these two things are really not the same at all. Perfectionism is a bad habit and one that you can quickly kick!
Can an Affair Make Your Relationship Stronger?
If you’ve recently found out your partner has had an affair (or perhaps you’re the one who has), your first reaction might be to assume it’s inevitable that the relationship will end. With the emotional rollercoaster you might be experiencing, this can seem like the only logical outcome. And if you’re someone who usually plays by the often black and white rules of society (or relationships), it may be difficult to see it any other way. In some cases, an affair will put the spotlight on certain differences that are irreconcilable. But on the other side of the pain, lies the possibility that an act of infidelity can actually make your marriage or love relationship stronger! Step one is to get past the rage, the finger pointing and the blaming. Then, there might be something to learn that can reignite your relationship and remind you of the reasons you got together in the first place. Think of this as the wakeup call.
What Is Perhaps The Most Powerful Word in the English Language?
I’ll spare you the tease. That word is NO!
The ability to be assertive and say ‘no’ is a communication skill we all learn at a very young age. If you’re a parent, you know better than anyone that once this word enters a child’s vocabulary it’s used very often. However, as an adult, ‘no’ is often much more difficult to say. As life gets busier and obligations increase, the ability to say ‘no’ is increasingly more important. If you can learn to assert yourself, it can be the difference between chronic overwhelm (aka, not having an enjoyable life) and spending far more time with the things you enjoy and that fulfill you the most.
Success is Such an Elusive Word
“Success” is a very elusive word, simply because it means many different things to different people. Believe it or not, I’ve met some of the most successful and high achievers you could imagine in my psychology practice who actually consider themselves “failures” because they’ve set certain—often lofty— personal goals that weren’t met. Think about the most recent presidential campaign. Would you consider Mitt Romney a success or a failure? Some would focus on the fact that he lost the race, without acknowledging the many successes he’s had in his life and career. I can’t tell you how he views himself, but can only hope he doesn’t make this all too common overgeneralization.
Discover Ingredients for a Fulfilling Relationship
Whether you are in a long-term relationship or you’re looking for one, you’ve probably noticed something rather obvious: that not all of us are looking for the exact same things in a love relationship. Most of us have unique priorities when it comes to what we value most in this as well as every major aspect of our lives. But certain ingredients— that stand the test of time— usually characterize the most fulfilling marriages and love relationships. So whether yours is in a difficult period right now, or you simply want to make a good relationship even better, remember the acronym TOUCH:
When Dating, Keep Your Eye on the Prize
If you are dating or new to the singles scene and thinking about dating, let me ask you this: What are your goals? Are you looking for a life partner? Companionship? A fun sexual relationship? Close your eyes and take a moment to focus on this. When an answer comes to you, read on
Shoulda, Coulda, Woulda: How to Make a Decision You Won’t Regret!
Wouldn’t it be nice if you could always approach big decisions head on, and feel little or no regret, regardless of the outcome? As Yogi Berra famously said; “when you approach a fork in the road, take it”. But seriously, why are decisions often such a source of conflict? Usually, there are three options: making the safe choice, maintaining the status quo, or taking a risk. Any decision would be a no-brainer— if it didn’t involve some risk or uncertainty— since certainty of outcome is one of the biggest myths we harbor. So while big decisions can be daunting, there are pitfalls to avoid as well as ways to make a decision you probably will regret. Think about a current situation in your life in which you’re contemplating a big decision. Here is how to avoid second-guessing or regrets to feel best about your decision as well as to master the decision making process itself:
Does Every New Relationship Feel Like Déjà vu? How To Break That Pattern
We, as humans, are creatures of habit. But while patterns and rituals are typically helpful in maximizing brain space, certain patterns in our relationships don’t usually serve us. For example, finding yourself in the “same relationship” over and over again can feel like déjà vu– and not in a good way. If you find yourself saying “hmm, I’ve been here before.” and feel caught in the same issues with one relationship after another, maybe it’s time to take a look at your particular relationship MO in order to break the pattern once an for all, so that you can find the person you’re really looking for and then make that relationship thrive.
If You are Single this Valentine’s Day, Defiantly Celebrate It!
At this time of year, the media couldn’t be busier reminding you to enhance your relationship, celebrate your romantic life and establish more intimacy as a tribute to Valentine’s Day. There are endless deals for romantic dinners and getaways, ads for Hallmark, flowers and heart-shaped boxes of chocolate. But what if you’re not in a involved with anyone special right now? In my practice, I’ve seen many people over the years who feel badly about themselves and their lives, only because they’re not currently in a relationship. And somehow when Valentine’s Day comes around, it accentuates those negative feelings. But holidays or other yearly milestones don’t need to be triggers of gloom. Instead, honor your single status by acknowledging it in a positive light.
Motivation in the Workplace For Optimal Results Is Not a “One Size Fits All” Implementation
Business leaders and manager at all levels usually agree on one thing: It’s a constant challenge to keep others in the work environment motivated and productive. This is especially true given the reality that what drives one person, can be quite different than what drives another. Thus, to be effective in creating a maximally productive work environment, it’s crucial to understand on an individual basis exactly what motivates each unique person you are trying to influence. So with this in mind, here are several different examples or prototypes of people you might find in the workplace and what’s most likely to inspire optimal productivity in each. Believe it or not, these characteristics even correspond with the stages of development as humans by which each individual views his or her career. By understanding what drives each unique member of your team, you can effectively tailor the approach you use to get the most out of each person you’d like to motivate.